I have been ignoring this blog because I have allowed things to motivate me and lead me that shouldn’t be motivating me and leading me. Consequently, I haven’t been following my passion, which is to write about my spiritual journey and the things that I believe Dad is showing me.

The most recent distraction has been money. I have been all about finding a way to make more money using my God-given writing gift. This, even though I have clearly heard Spirit-voice telling me it is time to stop using my gift for what I can get out of it and start allowing myself to simply be a conduit. How could I possibly make money writing about my passion? So I have been focusing on other things, like a Web site about telecommuting that could draw lots of visitors and therefore ad dollars. Something that is completely without passion for me.

Another thing that has distracted me is the fact that people from time to time have such a strong reaction to the things I write. So I have blocked myself from expressing what I hear Spirit-voice saying to me because I have been worried about what people would think or if they would be offended. I tried to explain it to myself in pious terms. You shouldn’t be causing others to stumble, I told myself. You shouldn’t make it sound like you are pointing fingers, I said. Don’t express the things in your heart because you might hurt others. But these were really just excuses to play the martyr. My refusal to write the things God has put on my heart is a selfish act of the will designed to mitigate personal risk. If I don’t share my heart, then people cannot disagree with me or get angry with me. If I don’t share my innermost thoughts, then the resulting silence is the result of my own choice, not someone else’s choice to say nothing about the thing I have risked myself to express.

Of course, all of this is wrong thinking. I realized that this morning as I was journaling, a discipline I am working on separately from blogging. Neither money nor risk mitigation are valid reasons to abandon my God-given passion. So to hell with money, and if you are offended by what I write please do not make the choice to visit and read. I will not be co-dependent with the world.